is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
