I think i peed on brittanys purse
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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