he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
COCAINE IS GR8
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
