found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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