He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
