Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
