John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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