Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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