And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
