From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
