dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
handjob tips. give me some.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
