I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
