The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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