the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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