Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
