I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
