Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Actions speak louder than pants.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
