Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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