craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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