I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
