Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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