So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
