his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
