Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
