Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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