Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
