next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
