Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
