im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
