She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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