Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
