yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
