You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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