It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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