Cold hands, warm shart.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
