Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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