Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
