Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
