I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
