If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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