so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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