Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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