I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He? As in you personified your dick?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
