I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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