he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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