I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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