somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
