he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
