Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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