No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I touched a dick in church today
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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