I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize