On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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