they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
