I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
