Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
