..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
