I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
