I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
