I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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