Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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