I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
