I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
